I got to go back to meet Guy, it was late at night about 1130. I went to the home knocked and Guy said who is it, I said Officer Smith and he came to the door. It was very nice being able to speak to him without having to take him to jail. He asked me that, did I have warrant, I said no he said good. We talked allot about how we got where we are, the whys and what fors. Guy was selling drugs at 12 and was known by the police where he lived. He has been incarcerated in another state and is living the life that is a by product of those choices he has made and that were put on him. It was a family thing with him, drugs, alcohol and the like. He told me as we were talking not to lose no sleep over him, he has made these choices and knows the consequences. Here is the catch, if you've lived in the sifter and that's what you know then how can you know any different way of life.
When I first started in this line of work I met a prostitute, she was on the street walking, working and talking to me as if she were to ply her wares my way. She got the message but I didn't put her off so she talked to me. She showed me her ID, said it was the first one she ever had, she was 28 at the time. You see her mom was also a working girl on the streets, I met her once. One of her business appointments tryed to kill her, she had a jagged scar from ear to ear where the person tryed to murder her and left her in a ditch to die.
I used to see the girl from time to time walking and working. One morning she was on her way home, she looked tired and she saw me and walked up to my patrol car. Her lip was fat, bleeding, eye lightly black and dried blood under her nose. I asked what happened, she said a john got mean with her, She grabbed my hand and cried, I just let her hold it, let her cry, gave her my biscuit and she left going home to sleep the night off. I watched her get clean, she had a little girl social services had taken and I saw her regain the rights to her after she cleaned up for a year or so. She went back to the streets and lost her daughter again, not to get her back anymore. She came in and went out to the streets several times it was like that with her. I asked her one day why if she could quit drugs and street walking why she went back and this was her answer. She said this is what I know, I know what to expect and I'm not treated like a dog, when I get clean and start going to respectable places people look at me and talk bad to me, I'm treated like scum. Here I know where I stand and I'm comfortable with that. Basically what she said is this. I'd rather live in a hell I know than to work at getting straight and have the so-called good people treat me like a dog and make me feel like I'm in hell all over, at least I know my hell. It where I am comfortable.
Guy is like that, he has learned to be comfortable in his known hell. He told me I threw him for a loop, he doesn't know why I would do this for him, I told him where I came from and what Christ did for me and that's why I'm doing this for him. Let me ask you this, have you been someone who has put someone off because of how they look, act, dress, smell. Have you been one of the people that cause others to feel scoffed at. My son works at a restaurant, it is said that Sunday is the worst day waiters have to work because the people who leave church treat them so bad and are so rude, is that you. Have you ever been somewhere and seen a need and did something to try to help with that need.
How about seeing an older person, in a beat up car put about $6. in gas in the car and walk inside the store pay for it and walk out with $6. in cigarettes. We think to ourselves, if he'd quit that nasty habit he would have more gas. While you were putting gas in your newer vehicle that God has blessed you with while you stand there in good warm clothes, did you ever think to say Sir, Mam can I help you, would you let me put gas in your car? I would appreciate it if you would. When your finished they may look down at the ground and say thanks but why, BAM there it is, you can tell them. Because God sees your needs and He wanted to help you out, God bless you my friend, have a good day. You then can go on your way and leave them to God. You see we are His hands, we are His feet, we are His eyes, and if we don't let Him work through us then His work won't be done.
I'm not saying go hug a prostitute or a drunk, I am saying when God opens that door step thru and go to work. There is a country song that say's I've had my moments. I've heard many seasoned law enforcement officers say, were just one event away from being on the other side of life, one incident from being the one who no one wants to talk to. If you are blessed then bless another, if you have something give a little to one in need. God blessed you, He gave to you so why don't you hold a hand and let a friend cry or hey feed someone in need. You probably won't even have to spend money for it if you find a food closet, they will give you the food. Go, be the hand of God for that one who needs him now... God bless all y'all. Garwayne
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
What to say???
I think you know I'm a Police Occifer. I work in a small city. This was my short week, I only work 2 days, Wed. and Thurs. I had our warrants and went about trying to find those people to yes arrest them. I had 3 in jail already and was working to find an older guy or so I thought. I went to this old house three rooms about 80 or so years old, holes in it, drafty and wet, it smelled. I knocked on the door for about 10 minutes, there is a reason. Once the man inside rolled out of bed he opened the door I understood why it took so long. His hair was matted up, his clothes were dirty and wet. I went in as we have to for safety purposes. A chief of police here in a close by town went to arrest a high school friend for a domestic assault, the guy went into his bedroom to get his shoes and when he came out he shot his friend the chief in the head and left him there. He was later found far away.
Anyhow I went in, the guy said, (I will call him guy) I'm OK you don't have to worry about me. I said yes but I must do my job. That means following people into their rooms men and women and try to respect them but it's a life or death situation. I followed Guy inside. Guy has no furniture, he has a mat on the floor, with a very flat dirty pillow. The bed mat was wet and dirty, it stunk of pea and there was dirt all over the place. The floor is matted with dirt and garbage, the walls are black from soot from a kerosene heater. He cooks off of the top of it. He has an old style oil lamp, you slide the glass up and light a wick for light. There is an old low dresser with old cans of soup on top empty. There were about 25 to 30 empty 1 ltr. bottles of wine lying around. He was asleep when I knocked and when Guy came to the door he was wet. I think water runs across the floor when it rains, not sure.
Guy was courteous, he said Sir, yes and no. He never said one cross word. Guy was drunk, it was 11:00 and he had already drank a bottle. Guy was wobbly, he smelled like stale water and pea, but he was courteous and tryed to be kind to me and I was putting handcuffs on him. Guy asked me if he could lock the door which is floppy, has plexi glass panels attached to it to hold it together. Guy locked his door but i could have pushed it down with a strong hand. Guy easily turned and let me cuff him, I was easy but safe and asked him to follow me to my car. I took guy to our jail, did his paperwork and heard the magistrate say $9000. bond. That was set by the court prior, no choice here. Guy would stay in jail for 12 days, not able to drink. I asked him down stairs what was going to happen to him, he had a very scared look on his face and said nothing. I asked Guy, "are you gonna go into DT's fast?" his eyes welled with tears and said yes as he looked at the floor, more in shame than anything, you could see it. I had to turn him over to the jailers but shook his hand and said good luck. When I grabbed his hand I asked God to bless him, help him. Guy is one of Gods lost children and is being sifted. Remember Christ told Peter,"I have prayed for you this night for satan wants to sift you." Guy is being sifted, think about that, please. Litteraly being torn apart.
I had to go back to the jail today. I arrested a man for punching his girl friend in the eye, it looked like a plum and was closed. I saw Guy, he was back from court and the Judge let him out. Just pay the fines you owe he was told. Good and bad, Guy is free and Guy can drink. I walked up to Guy and asked him if I could help him, if he would let me. I really asked and said please, I stood there and cried. I was in the bottom of the jail, surrounded by men I have arrested, I asked them to give me a minute and I stood there holding this mans hand and I cried and I asked him could I please help you. We spoke a bit and he said yes. The first day I arrested him when I left the jail, I rode around. I just rode and cried, I weep inside and shudder a bit but I have to hold it in.
This is where the rubber hits the road, something must be done. Guy is a child in the eyes of God, he is who Christ came and died for. He is who he said I have come for the sick. Guy is sick, he is being sifted. Guy just looked at the floor and said thanks and he cried too, I saw one tear roll to his nose. He said I just want to get to Freedom House, if I can do that I might make it. When you arrest people you have to get a next of kin in case they don't get out and they and the get sick. I asked guy this, he said this sounds funny but I guess it ain't, I don't have any body.
I have cried for 2 days now inside, I'm gonna fight for Guy, do what I can but somethings got to be done...
What will you do, will you help a lost soul, its easy when we are in our comfy churches with clean people who don't smell and are sober. where did God find you? me I don't want to forget, it makes it all the more special. Pray for Guy, I will not say his name, God knows it, he knows you too...
Anyhow I went in, the guy said, (I will call him guy) I'm OK you don't have to worry about me. I said yes but I must do my job. That means following people into their rooms men and women and try to respect them but it's a life or death situation. I followed Guy inside. Guy has no furniture, he has a mat on the floor, with a very flat dirty pillow. The bed mat was wet and dirty, it stunk of pea and there was dirt all over the place. The floor is matted with dirt and garbage, the walls are black from soot from a kerosene heater. He cooks off of the top of it. He has an old style oil lamp, you slide the glass up and light a wick for light. There is an old low dresser with old cans of soup on top empty. There were about 25 to 30 empty 1 ltr. bottles of wine lying around. He was asleep when I knocked and when Guy came to the door he was wet. I think water runs across the floor when it rains, not sure.
Guy was courteous, he said Sir, yes and no. He never said one cross word. Guy was drunk, it was 11:00 and he had already drank a bottle. Guy was wobbly, he smelled like stale water and pea, but he was courteous and tryed to be kind to me and I was putting handcuffs on him. Guy asked me if he could lock the door which is floppy, has plexi glass panels attached to it to hold it together. Guy locked his door but i could have pushed it down with a strong hand. Guy easily turned and let me cuff him, I was easy but safe and asked him to follow me to my car. I took guy to our jail, did his paperwork and heard the magistrate say $9000. bond. That was set by the court prior, no choice here. Guy would stay in jail for 12 days, not able to drink. I asked him down stairs what was going to happen to him, he had a very scared look on his face and said nothing. I asked Guy, "are you gonna go into DT's fast?" his eyes welled with tears and said yes as he looked at the floor, more in shame than anything, you could see it. I had to turn him over to the jailers but shook his hand and said good luck. When I grabbed his hand I asked God to bless him, help him. Guy is one of Gods lost children and is being sifted. Remember Christ told Peter,"I have prayed for you this night for satan wants to sift you." Guy is being sifted, think about that, please. Litteraly being torn apart.
I had to go back to the jail today. I arrested a man for punching his girl friend in the eye, it looked like a plum and was closed. I saw Guy, he was back from court and the Judge let him out. Just pay the fines you owe he was told. Good and bad, Guy is free and Guy can drink. I walked up to Guy and asked him if I could help him, if he would let me. I really asked and said please, I stood there and cried. I was in the bottom of the jail, surrounded by men I have arrested, I asked them to give me a minute and I stood there holding this mans hand and I cried and I asked him could I please help you. We spoke a bit and he said yes. The first day I arrested him when I left the jail, I rode around. I just rode and cried, I weep inside and shudder a bit but I have to hold it in.
This is where the rubber hits the road, something must be done. Guy is a child in the eyes of God, he is who Christ came and died for. He is who he said I have come for the sick. Guy is sick, he is being sifted. Guy just looked at the floor and said thanks and he cried too, I saw one tear roll to his nose. He said I just want to get to Freedom House, if I can do that I might make it. When you arrest people you have to get a next of kin in case they don't get out and they and the get sick. I asked guy this, he said this sounds funny but I guess it ain't, I don't have any body.
I have cried for 2 days now inside, I'm gonna fight for Guy, do what I can but somethings got to be done...
What will you do, will you help a lost soul, its easy when we are in our comfy churches with clean people who don't smell and are sober. where did God find you? me I don't want to forget, it makes it all the more special. Pray for Guy, I will not say his name, God knows it, he knows you too...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Military service
My son is thinking of going into the military,(Marines) he says he wants to be in the best. He says he is gonna eat it up, well see. I remember mydays in the ARMY, I was a Combat Medical Specialist. I went to Basic Training in Ft. Jackson S.C. I remember the days of running till you threw up cause you ate too much in your 4 minutes of alloted chow hall time or it seemed that way. Up at 0500 hrs. running, push ups, sit ups, running. Basic skills training, fighting, Bayonet Training which bye the way was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. Whats the spirit of the bayonet, Kill Kill Kill, what makes the grass grow, Blood Blood Blood. Your almost a foaming at the mouth like a rabbid dog when you finish . My son told me of the story of how the Marines got the name Devil Dogs, it was during a battle where they were going to the top of a hill to take it in gas masks, when at the top they removed their masks and with blood shot eyes and foam in there mouths they were seen and feared by the enemy and name Devil Dogs cause they had to crawl up the steep hill on hands and knees. It is a hard thing to do going in the USMC, it's harder still letting your son go. I never went into battle, didn't have to look at the enemy and kill him. I was a Medic and served on a Stinger Missle team, If It Flies It Dies, HHB 1/32 ADA.
Do we as a people sit and watch our country get run over, do we sit idely by and do nothing.Was Clinton great cause he didn't send us after 9 terrorist bombing against American targets but yet lobbed a 20 million $ bomb at a 20 $ tent and there take that. Is Bush any better for sending our men and women into harms way to fend off the terrorist. Think on this, this is the second time someone has had to go fight the Islamic Nation for trying to turn us into a cave dwelling people, remember if your not of the Nation of Islam your an infidel not worthy to live, and yes Jihad has been declaired on all of us non believers.
It was once said by Teddy Roosevelt in a speach; The Critic, an exerpt,
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Someone must stand for what is right, you must stand for something or you will fall and follow anything. We as Americans should stand up and say I am an American and I will defend this my great nation from the sea shore to the mountains, on land sea and air, and if you get by me it's because I'm now dead! Remember Jessica Lynch, was that what their God asks of them in Jihad or what, don't say it's the ravages of war because she was chained to a hospital bed with broken legs and not on a battle field, what will happen here if our borders were crossed.
Someone must stand, stand and fight for what our fore fathers stood for. For a man to sign the Declaration of Independance was to sign away your life and your families life, we as Americans Black, Asian, Europian, any descent of peoples are the benefactors of those men and womens belief system and the reciepient of there pain and loss. If your here then you win so don't let it go. Don't give in, stand, stand and fight, let God give you the strength to stand and do what is right for your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, stand for America for when you stand for the families and ones you know then you stand for America, you'll be standing for freedom and America. So go, go my Son, stand tall, wear your uniform proudly, be a Marine but you will be more, you will be an American. Remeber what the word of the Lord says, Blessed is the man who lays down his life for his friends. God bless America... I am proud you Samuel and I am proud of your consideration of service to our counry, Love Dad.
Do we as a people sit and watch our country get run over, do we sit idely by and do nothing.Was Clinton great cause he didn't send us after 9 terrorist bombing against American targets but yet lobbed a 20 million $ bomb at a 20 $ tent and there take that. Is Bush any better for sending our men and women into harms way to fend off the terrorist. Think on this, this is the second time someone has had to go fight the Islamic Nation for trying to turn us into a cave dwelling people, remember if your not of the Nation of Islam your an infidel not worthy to live, and yes Jihad has been declaired on all of us non believers.
It was once said by Teddy Roosevelt in a speach; The Critic, an exerpt,
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Someone must stand for what is right, you must stand for something or you will fall and follow anything. We as Americans should stand up and say I am an American and I will defend this my great nation from the sea shore to the mountains, on land sea and air, and if you get by me it's because I'm now dead! Remember Jessica Lynch, was that what their God asks of them in Jihad or what, don't say it's the ravages of war because she was chained to a hospital bed with broken legs and not on a battle field, what will happen here if our borders were crossed.
Someone must stand, stand and fight for what our fore fathers stood for. For a man to sign the Declaration of Independance was to sign away your life and your families life, we as Americans Black, Asian, Europian, any descent of peoples are the benefactors of those men and womens belief system and the reciepient of there pain and loss. If your here then you win so don't let it go. Don't give in, stand, stand and fight, let God give you the strength to stand and do what is right for your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, stand for America for when you stand for the families and ones you know then you stand for America, you'll be standing for freedom and America. So go, go my Son, stand tall, wear your uniform proudly, be a Marine but you will be more, you will be an American. Remeber what the word of the Lord says, Blessed is the man who lays down his life for his friends. God bless America... I am proud you Samuel and I am proud of your consideration of service to our counry, Love Dad.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
My Testimony at your church
I am going to start trying to go and speak my testimony to Churches, there is no way I can let this sit and go to no good use. I am also working at restarting my studies at the Berian School for the Bible. I go to an Assembly of God Church. My pastor is Rev. Denver Shelton whom I seek out for all spiritual advice. I have been on our board of Trustees and was a Deacon. I was our Youth Minister/Director, I played the drums in church. I drove the van morning, night and night. I worked with the Royal Rangers and taught Sunday School and cleaned the church. My wife ran the Missionettes Program, Taught a class, did minor secretarial work and did most of the cleaning of the church. We never took a dime of pay and both worked full times jobs.
I am going to give out my testimony to any Bible believing church that will have me come. I can promise you, you will not be disappointed, I have endured some pretty heinous things in my short time here and if just one of those hardships give a person a ray of light or hope I'm all for it no matter how bad the memories or how much I will cry. I love the Lord and want for nothing more than YOU to see a wonderful picture of our Father and His love for us, God is faithful.
I am a born again Christian, I will speak from the Bible and keep any verse used in the proper text Christ and the Holy Spirit said in it's proper derivative. God don't need no help and His word doesn't need twisting, Isaiah 55:11So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. God expects me to speak in the right light of His word and I will.
If you would like me to come send me an e-mail and I will shoot you my phone number and we will talk some. gwsmith44@gmail.com God bless all yall, Garwayne...
I am going to give out my testimony to any Bible believing church that will have me come. I can promise you, you will not be disappointed, I have endured some pretty heinous things in my short time here and if just one of those hardships give a person a ray of light or hope I'm all for it no matter how bad the memories or how much I will cry. I love the Lord and want for nothing more than YOU to see a wonderful picture of our Father and His love for us, God is faithful.
I am a born again Christian, I will speak from the Bible and keep any verse used in the proper text Christ and the Holy Spirit said in it's proper derivative. God don't need no help and His word doesn't need twisting, Isaiah 55:11So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. God expects me to speak in the right light of His word and I will.
If you would like me to come send me an e-mail and I will shoot you my phone number and we will talk some. gwsmith44@gmail.com God bless all yall, Garwayne...
Hello to all.
My name is Gary, I am just a regular guy on this big blue ball like the rest of us. I was in my life dealt a difficult hand to deal with. My family at first did not know God as a Savior or father nor cared for God whom you will see me refer to allot as Father, to me He is more than a God but really is my father; took a while to learn that.
My birth father or my real dad had a problem with alcohol so in turn we all had a problem with alcohol. Thank goodness my mom had her head on straight and tried her best with what she knew to keep some peace in out home. You will at times maybe read where we had a very difficult time in our home but don't blame my mom, the Bible says in 1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: so before you go looking to say someone is wrong remember we are at war. We as Christians are in the fight for our lives and satan works very hard to mess up your life, my life, our lives in general.
I love my Mom and my step-father very much, before they knew God as they do now we all had a hard road to go down. It's tough in life trying to leave a life of Sin and turn towards God, Christ and a Christian way. No one said it would be easy, there are no promises in the Bible that say, Thus saith the lord thy life shall be a bed of finely crafted roses. I'm sorry if your version of life that has been given to you was told with a disclaimer, (after this portion of your life at a given age you will no longer have problems) end of disclaimer. No life isn't always awful, and for the most part for most people it is great and it can be Rosey but for some people, people like me life for many years had a dark side, nothing I created but something I had to endure for many years due to the lack of God in my house. Oh wait a minute, or as my youngest daughter would say "snap" I didn't blame my mom or my dad, no you see they went thru the same thing as I did but on a different level and in a different time. No it's not their fault that I saw the things I saw, it's not their fault I watched my dad beat on mom. What it is folks is this, is darkness a thing, No. Darkness is a result of the lack of light, so bad is the lack of good or the result of life without God. I know from what I speak, I have the Moccasins you should walk in, they were mine. I walked the mile and then some. I know what it is like to have to run to save your rear from a drunk and at times I did. Mostly when mom was at work and my step dad would get cranked up from cocaine and speed and alcohol. (Not my current step-father whom I love dearly but my moms previous leach) He was a mess and I was so small he thought it fun to push me around, I was so skinny as a kid I had to run around in the shower to get wet.
Well I'm gonna cut it off now, I'm tired only got about 4 hours sleep since this morning at 0530 hrs. when I had to get up for work, so in the last 40 hrs. I've slept 4 hrs. woo hoo. Seriously folks, I dealt with allot of junk and had allot of bad things happen to me not from my doing but things I had to endure that I didn't create. I still have my moments that get to me and in my line of work things cause those memories to come flooding back in like a tidal wave. I give you a for instance then I gotta go.
I was on patrol on day shift here in Mayberry and got a call to go to residence for indecent text messages. The texter was at a motel, the textie was at her home, here's how it went down. I read the text message and it said bring me 5 crack rocks (cocaine pebbles in a smokeable form) to room !@# and you can have what ever you want, but it was written out in it's proper slang form. I told the lady I was going to see if there was indeed someone there and if I could have them stop. Low and behold the lady in the motel room was a person whom I knew, (talk about an ordained meeting from God, see God is faithful) she liked to have died right there or DRT, dead right there. She let me in she sat down and I told her what I knew and of course she denied it, even a blind Squirrel can find a nut sometimes. I talked to her for a bit, didn't see any drugs there so since I knew her I started to leave, as I did she stood up and gave me that look of what do I do, I hugged her real hard and said pray, seek God and fight, fight for your life. Here was her problem, she had to endure the results of a problem she created years earlier, the results of sin or the absents of God. God didn't create that problem she did and she paid for it and still pays for it. I saw here Saturday morning, won't say where but I went to her hugged her real hard and we smiled at each other and she said I'm ok, she is in classes, maybe NA or the like. I'm proud of her and I told her so too. When is th last time you hugged a person fighting an addiction and said seek God, pray hard and you will find him cause he careth for you... Remember Christ stretched out his arms and died, while up there he said hey look, I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssss much. God bless all yall.
Love ya and Good night. Garwayne (Disclaimer, forgive typo's it's 0140 hrs.)
Verse for the day I guess or what ever, 1 Samuel 7:3And Samuel spake unto all the house of Israel, saying, If ye do return unto the LORD with all your hearts, then put away the strange gods and Ashtaroth from among you, and prepare your hearts unto the LORD, and serve him only: and he will deliver you out of the hand of the Philistines (or the world as it were). Bye Bye
My birth father or my real dad had a problem with alcohol so in turn we all had a problem with alcohol. Thank goodness my mom had her head on straight and tried her best with what she knew to keep some peace in out home. You will at times maybe read where we had a very difficult time in our home but don't blame my mom, the Bible says in 1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: so before you go looking to say someone is wrong remember we are at war. We as Christians are in the fight for our lives and satan works very hard to mess up your life, my life, our lives in general.
I love my Mom and my step-father very much, before they knew God as they do now we all had a hard road to go down. It's tough in life trying to leave a life of Sin and turn towards God, Christ and a Christian way. No one said it would be easy, there are no promises in the Bible that say, Thus saith the lord thy life shall be a bed of finely crafted roses. I'm sorry if your version of life that has been given to you was told with a disclaimer, (after this portion of your life at a given age you will no longer have problems) end of disclaimer. No life isn't always awful, and for the most part for most people it is great and it can be Rosey but for some people, people like me life for many years had a dark side, nothing I created but something I had to endure for many years due to the lack of God in my house. Oh wait a minute, or as my youngest daughter would say "snap" I didn't blame my mom or my dad, no you see they went thru the same thing as I did but on a different level and in a different time. No it's not their fault that I saw the things I saw, it's not their fault I watched my dad beat on mom. What it is folks is this, is darkness a thing, No. Darkness is a result of the lack of light, so bad is the lack of good or the result of life without God. I know from what I speak, I have the Moccasins you should walk in, they were mine. I walked the mile and then some. I know what it is like to have to run to save your rear from a drunk and at times I did. Mostly when mom was at work and my step dad would get cranked up from cocaine and speed and alcohol. (Not my current step-father whom I love dearly but my moms previous leach) He was a mess and I was so small he thought it fun to push me around, I was so skinny as a kid I had to run around in the shower to get wet.
Well I'm gonna cut it off now, I'm tired only got about 4 hours sleep since this morning at 0530 hrs. when I had to get up for work, so in the last 40 hrs. I've slept 4 hrs. woo hoo. Seriously folks, I dealt with allot of junk and had allot of bad things happen to me not from my doing but things I had to endure that I didn't create. I still have my moments that get to me and in my line of work things cause those memories to come flooding back in like a tidal wave. I give you a for instance then I gotta go.
I was on patrol on day shift here in Mayberry and got a call to go to residence for indecent text messages. The texter was at a motel, the textie was at her home, here's how it went down. I read the text message and it said bring me 5 crack rocks (cocaine pebbles in a smokeable form) to room !@# and you can have what ever you want, but it was written out in it's proper slang form. I told the lady I was going to see if there was indeed someone there and if I could have them stop. Low and behold the lady in the motel room was a person whom I knew, (talk about an ordained meeting from God, see God is faithful) she liked to have died right there or DRT, dead right there. She let me in she sat down and I told her what I knew and of course she denied it, even a blind Squirrel can find a nut sometimes. I talked to her for a bit, didn't see any drugs there so since I knew her I started to leave, as I did she stood up and gave me that look of what do I do, I hugged her real hard and said pray, seek God and fight, fight for your life. Here was her problem, she had to endure the results of a problem she created years earlier, the results of sin or the absents of God. God didn't create that problem she did and she paid for it and still pays for it. I saw here Saturday morning, won't say where but I went to her hugged her real hard and we smiled at each other and she said I'm ok, she is in classes, maybe NA or the like. I'm proud of her and I told her so too. When is th last time you hugged a person fighting an addiction and said seek God, pray hard and you will find him cause he careth for you... Remember Christ stretched out his arms and died, while up there he said hey look, I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssss much. God bless all yall.
Love ya and Good night. Garwayne (Disclaimer, forgive typo's it's 0140 hrs.)
Verse for the day I guess or what ever, 1 Samuel 7:3And Samuel spake unto all the house of Israel, saying, If ye do return unto the LORD with all your hearts, then put away the strange gods and Ashtaroth from among you, and prepare your hearts unto the LORD, and serve him only: and he will deliver you out of the hand of the Philistines (or the world as it were). Bye Bye
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